Mrs. Santa 2007 Application Form

Santa is conducting a search for a new spokesperson/drinking partner! Your duties will encompass attending stupid Santa related functions held in, and around, Indianapolis, Indiana, during the 2007 Holiday Season, drinking too much, dressing for the part, and passing out candy canes to a bunch of other drunks.

Name:                 Address:

City:                 State:         Zip Code:

Telephone Number:             Email:

I am:  < 21 Years Old    21-30     31-40    41-50     >50

I am: Single   Divorced   Married  

I am: Reasonably Symmetrical   More Vertical Than Horizontal   More Horizontal Than Vertical   Barbie Doll-esque   Rosie O'Donnell-ish

I drink: All The Time   Socially   Never

I will drink (check all that apply):  Beer   Wine   Whiskey   Scotch   Tequila   Gin   Cosmopolitans   Chocolate Martinis   Whatever Is In Dad's Liquor Cabinet   Whatever You’re Buying

I have (check all that apply):  A Mrs. Santa Suit An Elf or Pixie  Costume A Cheerleader Outfit   A Schoolgirl Uniform   A Black Leather Mini-Skirt And Thigh-Highs   A Boob-Job   A Trust Fund   An Excellent Personality   A Drinking Problem   A Pick-Up Truck   A Boat   A Bunch Of Slutty Friends

I want to be Mrs. Santa:  To Enhance My Career   To Pad My Resume   To Get Close To The Indy Santacon Team   To Get Back At My Parents   To Get Back At My Husband   Because I'm A Drunk   Because I'm A Sociopath   Because I'm An Exhibitionist   Because I'm A Drunken, Sociopathic, Exhibitionist, Trying To Get Back At Everyone EXCEPT The Indy Santacon Team

What phrase best suits you?

What animal noise are you most likely to spontaneously make and under what conditions (be elaborate)?

My special qualifications include (but are not limited to):

If you have questions contact: